Please STAND up beside me and help me Build the Bridges of Community… A foundation of love, kindness, hope, unity,community, and so much more.
I ask you to uphold your responsibility to your community, where ever that is. To be, to help, to love one another despite the differences that we all share! I ask you to open your heart and take the hand of a stranger or some one you have lost touch with and help them, support them, and listen to them. Open not only your mind but your heart as well!

Let me ask you this simple yet profound question!
Will you stand with me with this common goal of COMMUNITY? Putting the sectors that we each are a part of to the side for a common goal!

I have lost friends who died because of a car crash, suicide, sickness, Paul (my dad) died very suddenly, one of my best friends in this whole world was murdered. and no matter what our differences were then, no matter what I can not ever change the last thing I said to those people. The people that meant the most to me I can no longer go back and say you know what I was a dumbass and I am sorry. I have to live with the fact that my last words to them are forever.

Hey there, Air. How are you doing? In your default form you are by far the gentlest of the elements, the most altruistic of the elements, the easiest to be around. People who are close to you relish that closeness as if you were the oxygen they breathe. Though when you are such an honest and true individual sometimes it is easy for others to move through life as if you are invisible to them, pushing you around and hurting you in ways they would never imagine doing to say, water or fire. Little do they know that air can be pushed too far and all it takes is a few powerful gusts from this angry element to get a point across, though not without a rush of guilt and second thoughts to follow. Your place in the world: The genuine soul and emotional helper to those in need (A breathe of fresh air)..

Well,  I took this darn test on Facebook, and it come back that I, the water sign, am Air. I have never thought about it before. I have never looked deep inside of myself to see what element I related to more. I have always associated myself with water. I associate myself with water for many reasons, the main one being that I am emotional and intuitive. So after I took the quiz, I decided to look deep into myself and find where I see the elements within me and where I lack the “elemental quality.”

Water:

Direction: West

Qualities: cold and moist, heavy and passive

Color: Green

Metal: copper, silver

Type of magic: fertility, mirror magic, purification, healing, divination, dream magic

Zodiacal signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Tattvic symbol: silver crescent (Apas)

Tattvic tide: September 23 – December 23

Season: Fall

Hour of day: twilight

Celtic name: iar

Major Arcana card: Hanged Man (XII)

Minor Arcana suit: Cups

Symbolic creatures: scorpion, snake, dolphin, dragon(serpent), all water creatures

Alchemical symbol: upside down triangle

Symbols: waterfalls, all bodies of water, waves, fog, rain

Plants: all water plants, fern, lotus, moss

Air:

Direction: East

Qualities: hot and moist, light and active

Color: Blue

Metal: aluminum, mercury, tin

Types of magic: To find an object that has been lost or stolen, magic of the four winds, visualizations, divination.

Zodiacal signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Tattvic symbol: blue circle (Vayu)

Tattvic tide: June 21 – September 23

Season: Spring

Hour of day: Dawn

Celtic name: airt

Major Arcana card: Fool (0)

Minor Arcana suit: Swords

Symbolic creatures: eagle, hawk, butterfly

Alchemical symbol: right side up triangle with a line through the middle

Symbols: sky, wind, clouds, incense

Plants: aspen tree, mistletoe

Fire:

Direction: South

Qualities: hot and dry, light and active

Color: Red

Metal: brass, gold, iron, steel

Type of magic: tantra, healing, candle magic

Zodiacal signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Tattvic symbol: red triangle (Tejas)

Tattvic tide: March 21 – June 21

Season: Summer

Hour of day: Noon

Celtic name: Deas

Major Arcana Card: judgement (XX)

Minor Arcana suit: Wands

Symbolic creature: lion, fire-breathing dragon, horses

Alchemical symbol: right side up triangle

Symbols: fire, sun, stars, volcanoes, candle flame, hearthfire

Plant: nettle, red poppies, garlic, onions

Earth:

Direction: North

Qualities: cold and dry, heavy and passive

Color: Yellow

Metal: lead, mercury

Types of magic: fertility magic, tree magic, herbal lore, prosperity, runecasting, knot magic

Zodiacal signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Tattivic symbol: yellow square (prithivi)

Tattivic tide: December 23 – March 21

Season: Winter

Hour of day: midnight

Celtic name: Tuath

Major Arcana card: Universe (XXI)

Minor Arcana suit: Pentacles

Symbolic creatures: bull, sphinx, stag

Alchemical symbol: upside down triangle with a line through the middle

Symbols: mountains, caves, gems, fields, rocks

Plants: red poppy, thrift plant, ivy, grains

I find that when I am calling quarters in a Circle, that I tend to favor calling South (fire). Maybe because I feel that I lack those qualities.

When I call West (water), I feel stagnate, maybe because I feel that , I will always be water and nothing will ever change that.

North (earth) I feel no real connection. I feel that it’s just there, I know that is horrible to say but I feel that I could just call, East, South, and West and be okay. What does that mean? Hum… I am so confused about that at the moment. Maybe because I feel disconnected to the world, that I am just here, not apart of anything. That life just passes me by and I just watch life like a spectator sport, not truly living life but watching it continue on without me.

East (air) I don’t think I have ever called upon east in a public rite of any sort and my private circles are very much short and to the point, I call upon the Lord and Thy Lady and ask the elements to be with me but not a drawn out process of asking the elements one by one to be with me.  I feel that Air is the element of intelligence and I feel that I am a forever student. I research at least something everyday, I am always expanding my knowledge base.

So, what does this all mean to me… HUM… I am even more confused now then I was an hour ago when I took the quiz. Damn, Facebook. How in the hell, do I figure this out.The hardest part of questions like this, at least for me, I have to look within myself. I spend so much of my time researching, learning and looking into other peoples lives, that I find it almost impossible for me to turn that around and look into myself. To truly soul search… is so very difficult for me.

I need to find the strength, understanding and knowledge of how to turn what I do for so many people into something I do for myself.

Please If you by any chance have a clue of how to do this please, I am almost begging of you to teach me. With age comes wisdom and I do not have the wisdom to do this on my own.

Now with that stated what are you, my friend? Did I miss something that I should add to my list of affirmations?

Please let me know…

I personally live by a code of moral ethics that I have set up for myself. And YES, I hold others that I am around to those same morals. Why would I want to surround myself with unethical people? That would just be insane!

The code that I live by is one that I feel very strongly about, Your word is your Bond! I remember when I was a young child, my dad would make me shake his hand if I was making him a promise, as though the hand shake was like a signature on a piece of paper, a binding document to be upheld for all eternity! I personally do not have to physically shake your hand but if you say (whether aloud or in a written document of some sort) I promise I will ______. I am going to hold you accountable. Now if you say I MAY _____ or if I am ABLE I will ____, then that is a different story!

Now if you do not hold up your end of the bargain, please know that I will most likely very disappointed in the fact that you lied to me, whether meaning to or not you lied. Once someone lies to me it takes some time for me to trust that person again… I will forgive, but I never forget.

Also, if you think this is about you IT IS… If you think that I am being Harsh, I am not! I uphold my end of things. I don’t over commit, I tell you my limitations, and I let you all know that, I am only one person, I can’t change the world by myself in a day!

Also, If I tell you something and you think that it is confidential it probably is so please don’t go spreading rumors or dirty laundry around our small community. I trusted you enough to tell you a secret and I expect you not to go behind my back and tell others about it!

Okay, as far as I am concerned, We all live in this Community, we all worship here, we all are here for the same thing to make this community work! Please, if you have an issue with Person A, please I am begging you, TALK to Person A. Don’t go to person B,C and D and tell them your issues and never speak to Person A about it. I understand that we all need a friend to talk to every now and then, to confide in, to vent. PLEASE make sure that this person is not harvesting the rumor mill from your conversations.

Okay, with all that stated…

I personally can not wait until Mid Summers at Starkey Park, and Gwyn and Rusty’s wedding at Zoe’s House. So much to do so little time to do it!

Entry for December 17, 2005~~~Goals I have before I die~~~

I have been thinking a lot about life, and what I want out of it…

1) I want to open a Pagan Book store, coffee house thing

2) I want to Travel to Stonghenge.

3) I want to be a Pagan Leader in my Community.

4) I want to get a Degree in Business.

5) I want to have a baby.

6) I want to get married, eloping or not….

7) I want to take a cruise to Alaska.

I want to learn latin, be able to speak it and write it without problems.

9) I want to go ice skateing on a lake.

10) I want to own my own house.

11) I want to beable to afford to take Hannah and/or My child to Disney every year.

12) I want to visit a Monk.

13) I want to study one countries history and then visit the country, touring the country for months or years.

14) I want to spend the night in Central Park, armed of course.

15) I want to attend a Broadway Show of my choice.

16) I want to take a month a study in the Smithsoin Ins.

17) I want to go into outer space.

18) I want to have a family reunion.

19) I want to track down my family history and travel the countries in which my family is from, all sides.

20) I want to live until I am 120 years old.

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Now lets see if I can Complete them…

well, first I must ponder which Is the MOST important to me….

then go from there so it my take me a few days to start them….

Below you will see the definition in the brownish color and my thoughts are in green. Please Feel free to comment on them. I would like to see what you guys think about it.

FIR TREE (the Mysterious) – (Jan 02 to Jan 11 or Jul 05 to Jul 14) – extraordinary taste(I love extraordinary things, I love the finest dishes, the most remarkable art,songs, and writings) , dignity (I am a very proud soul), sophisticated (I tend to think I am), loves anything beautiful (I do not see in color,gender, or the alike if it is beautiful I love it and beauty comes from within not on the surface) , moody(THAT IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT), stubborn (another understatement), tends to egoism but cares for those close to them ( if I call you friend I care very deeply about you but if I do not I tend to be very harsh (tactfully of course), rather modest (um yeah, but there was that time at FPG and I got painted with bombs, but we won’t go into that here), very ambitious (If I feel strongly about a cause I am very much ambitious), talented (I have yet to uncover my talent, so if you see on in me, PLEASE LET ME KNOW ASAP), industrious(HUH?), uncontented lover (not sure if i agree), many friends( not many friends but many acquaintances), many foes ( I tend to find that people either love me or hate me for whatever reason and YES, it bothers me when I find out that someone does not like me), very reliable (If I say I am going to be somewhere I am there EARLY, PST “pagan standard time” does not work well for me at all, if you call upon me I will be there unless I am physically unable to) .

Stand facing North, close your eyes and calm your breathing.
Concentrate on gathering all the stressful and anxious feelings from
the day. Feel it settle into the ends of your arms and your legs.
At the moment you feel those energies settle in those areas, inhale
and proclaim, “I am the center of the Earth”
Kneel down to the Earth, placing your palms flat on the ground.
Exhale and push all those negative energies into the the Earth. Once
they are gone, proclaim “I stand firmly on the land.” Bend down and
breathe in the scent of the soil and kiss Mother Earth, thanking her
in your own way for supporting you and taking those harmful energies
from you.
Exhale and stand up, stretching your arms behind you, cupping your
hands upward. As you exhale, bring your hands around to the front in
a large arc, cupping your hands in front of you, arms outstretched.
Proclaim “The Sea always surrounds me.”
Inhale as you bring your hands out to the sides, palms facing forward
and fingers spread wide. Exhale and bring your arms straight up over
your head, forming a triangle (to represent our trinity of elements)
over your head with your forefingers and thumbs. Proclaim, “The Sky
spreads itself above me.”
Inhale and bring your hands to your heart chakra in the middle of
your chest. Proclaim, “I am the center of the Three Realms.”

Concentrate on that centering, bring your hands back to your side and
relax.

Wow, This is truly awe inspiring!

Thinking back to the first time that I ever truly felt that I am ” the center of the three realms” was at a camping trip that one of the local groups put on at Crews Lake Park, in Hudson, Fl. I remember that the grove put on the Imbolic Ritual for the camping trip. the feeling of everyone participating in the ritual and the calming energy that resulted from this form of meditation and grounding. if that is what you want to call this “excerise” I loved that feeling. It was very much one of peace, calm, and enlightenment.

Everytime I have done this meditation, as I call it, I feel the same energy that I did that night. The calming, peaceful energy that I feel when I have completed the meditation is so overwheming that it is hard to put in words that are understanding. It almost feels that I am speaking a different language, and I feel as if I am in a different land. I am unsure how to put it in to words.

I am wondering how everyone else feels when they practice this meditation.

I VOW TO KEEP PRACTICING THIS UNTIL IT BECOMES SECOND NATURE TO ME!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE KICK ME IN THE REAR TO MAKE ME DO THIS!

Well, for the first time in a long time I went outside to just sit, and watch the birds, the grass, the flies, the damn frog that almost scared me to death, and I noticed that As I watched the trees, that it almost felt as if they were talking to me. I feel as if the large Oak Trees outside my home are begging me to help them. To help them, as to save them. But save them from what? I am unsure of that answer. I feel like I “try” to do my part to help the environment, by recycling, reusing, and trying at least to reduce my waste.

I have been do a lot of soul searching recently, trying to find my path, renewing connections with the earth, and the Gods, ancestors, spirit guides, and the alike. and the most challenging thing for me is to know what to do with this knowledge that I have been shown. I feel that the Oaks were telling me what my meditations have made me feel, what my dreams have shown me, almost a slap in the face.

I need to do more, I need to become more active. But more active in what is my  main issue. I am apart of so many groups locally and online, I just don’t know if I am supposed to step up in one of those and say OKAY PEOPLE WE NEED TO ________. or if I am supposed to split off on my own and try to start an “new and improved group” that will have the blanks filled in by me? I am more at a loss now then I was before. So confused so little time to act!

I am off to see what else I can find out about what the trees are saying to me. I will finish this later!

OKay, So I now know that I need to be more active in the groups that I already belong to, but not spread myself too thin (although i need to lose weight)

I am not sure if what I am learning from this lesson is what I was “supposed” to learn per the assignment but I feel that I learned (or got out of it what I needed too)

Ok,

With the lesson assignment at hand I will now write on what the triad means to me ,after  meditating for a week or more with it being the main focus.

three followers of wisdom: imagination, purpose, and endeavor

Wow, Okay. First off, what is wisdom? what is it to be wise? I know a phrase that keeps being told to me by a dear crone, I know, “with age comes wisdom”. But does it really?

Does one have to be “older” to be wise?

I think not. I feel that one can be wise way beyond their years, due to how “awakened” one is to the Otherworlds and realms. I personally say to ppl all the time that I am the oldest 26 year old I know, because I do not act like I am 26. I have grown up faster then my peers have.

three followers of wisdom: imagination, purpose, and endeavor

I feel that to be wise you must be able to engage your mind to: imagination. You must be able to see what is not there to be able to look through the lines on a page and be taken to other realms or otherworlds.

I also feel that to be wise: you must have purpose. I can not simply wonder around the earth, bouncing like a beach ball that was thrown into the wind. But I must have some purpose to my life, and at this time in my life I feel my purpose is to become much more spiritual not religious but spiritual. I feel that I must become one with the Goddess, and even the Goddess that I have worked with the most seems to be a odd fit for me at this time, I feel I need to re-evaluate my patron and matron deities.

I feel that I have found my purpose in this life. I now know where my path is leading me, am I scared? YES, I am. It is the fear of the unknown for me. I feel my path is leading me to look for a more structured path. I need to have ritual, I need to be with like minded ppl on a (daily, weekly, monthy)_________, cycle. I need to help out more with my community. I need to move to the next level of  (lacking a better word) awakening. I see a much bigger picture of what is needed in the community, I just need to get off my lazy ass and do instead of talk about what I want for the community that I live in and in return I will become stronger in my faith.

three followers of wisdom: imagination, purpose, and endeavor

HUM, Endeavor,

en⋅deav⋅or

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–noun

Wow, Okay as for endeavor,

I must act with purpose and imagination, to attempt the improbable. I need to help get the grants needed for the land, I need to help more with in the community in ensure that the community has a Sanctuary that we can go to. That we can do all that we want or need on our own land so that we can grow not only stronger as a community but stronger within ourselves. I feel I must act upon those feelings of community center, so that the dream can come a live for all of us. for any one of us.

I have a vision of a Religious Libary that ppl can come to, and research the different religions, and meditate, enjoy great company and grow as a human, on whatever path that they follow.

three followers of wisdom: imagination, purpose, and endeavor

Wow, the Triad, that was mediated on for the last week and a half showed me so much that I must do to keep on my chosen path. I now see a much larger picture of community now.

I think that I will continue to meditate on this as the weeks go on to ensure that the vision I am seeing now does not change, and if it does I will then see the new and improved vision!